The Life of a Con

Prison, per se, seems to be many things for many people. I’m sure there are scores of people out there that have gone to prison, served the time allotted to them and gotten out to become productive, responsible people. I just haven’t met them. In fact, I’ve never even known one of them.

More so, I’ve known people who have searched for God, found him, just to loose him again once they were out. I’ve known the ones who have “learned how to do good” and can’t wait to get out to just “show everyone the truth” as they have learned it in jail. And I have known the ones who would “rather kill” themselves, than to “go back to that place.”

Of course, within months of being out, they’re all back in again.

You see, Cons have learned one fundamental thing while engaging in their life of crime. And that is how to con people. They con people and the system and anything else that comes to mind.

I’ve learned some stuff over the years dealing with them. Forgive me while I ponder a few things.

1) No one in jail is guilty. No one; ever. It doesn’t matter if they were caught in the act of committing the crime or if their finger prints and DNA were found at the scene. You see the government has it out for the little man, and has plans to get rid of everyone of them. And fingerprints can be planted and DNA, well, that’s just bullshit. There just ain’t no such thang. Oh, this also works for paternity.
2) They WILL pay you back. Every single penny that you give them, either from accepting phone calls or sending packages. You see, there must be some kind of government work system when you’re behind bars that pays them ungodly amounts of money just to pay back the loans that they owe on the outside. This covers the collect calls, putting money on their books—you know, a con has to have funds—and paying off bills.
3) Pictures. They need them, and they need you to send them tons and tons of them. This is to keep a link with the outside world. Being behind bars is madding—of course they knew this from the first few times they were in jail; they just forgot—and they need something to keep them sane. So you must be the one to supply it to them.
4) God speaks to jailbirds. Period.
5) It’s not their fault—now this one goes back to number one, but it deserves it’s own acknowledgement because, well, people just don’t understand. They have had hard lives and IF—and I mean if—they killed someone, it was because they were misunderstood. Jesus, can’t you give a con a break? Yes He can.



You can’t blame the Con really. They’re just doing what comes naturally. Lying. We’re the ones who believe them. They know that most people WANT to believe that people can change, they want to believe that there is something good and worthy inside everyone, even the most egregious person.

Of course before the second or third time someone goes to jail, you can’t tell whether you’re dealing with a simple con or the other one—the one you’ve eliminated from the family tree.

So if you ever go to someone’s home, and you notice there are holes in many of the pictures, where they have cut out whole people, don’t assume they’re a serial killer. They may simply have a lying, penny stealing, picture hog of a con in the family.